Sheeba Fars

SWABI: Marriage is a very delicate and sensitive relationship which needs extreme care on part of husband, wife and their respective families. In case of lack of care or compromises and sacrifices, the family life suffers and both families face tough consequences.

The house of Asma from Swabi also suffered due to such an irresponsible decision and she left her husband’s house after marriage and went to her parents’ house.

Asma said she was married without her will and the attitude of the in-laws was unbecoming. She said she finally went to her parents’ house along with her children when the situation became totally unbearable for her, but life was even more difficult at parents’ house.

“Now I think that my life would have been different had my parents thought about me instead of society at the time of deciding about my marriage,” she said while talking to TNN.

Asma said the wrong decision of her parents ruined her life and life of her children as well.

Religious scholar Maulana Mehsud Khan said that under the Islamic teachings, the consent of girl is mandatory at the time of marriage. He said the age balance, family background and character of the man to whom the girl is married also must be probed. He said there is no harm in asking about the consent of a girl for marriage.

Gul Wareena, who runs a religious seminary for girls in Swabi, said parents can convince their children about marriage decisions politely, but the use of force or intimidation is not advisable. She said if the girl is not very intelligent and cannot decide about her wisely then parents must definitely intervene and guide her in right direction, but politely. She said there is no doubt that Islam allows marriage by choice, but the consent of parents must also be obtained for this most important decision of life.

Naheed from Nowshera said parents want their children to be happy and secure in future and they make their marriage decisions keeping in view these factors.

“I have observed that children who enter marriage without consent of parents regret their decision in future,” she said.

Asma made it clear that refusal of a marriage proposal by a girl doesn’t mean that she likes someone else. She said proposal refusal simply means that the girl thinks she can’t spend the whole life with that person.