PESHAWAR: Children, whether young or large, are believed to be first and foremost human beings. Parents are friends to children, and parents whose children are their best friends are fortunate.

Parents nowadays complain that their children are becoming disobedient and rebellious, that they do their own thing and do not listen to or value what their elders say, and that they are morally weak and inferior. However, if these parents consider their everyday life, they will recognise that they are to blame for their children’s disobedience and rebellious behaviour.

It is a matter of common observation that children grow an attraction for the things their parents have a penchant towards. When the child sees that his parents have gotten lost in the rat race of earning money all day long, when the child finds his mother doing shopping every other day and see her getting excited about brands and the sales they offer, and when he sees his parents being busy with gadgets then automatically he’ll also develop an interest in these things.

How can a child be inclined to the truth in this tempting age when the hearts of the parents are indulged in the love of the world and forget the difference between good and bad?

It is also a fact that the priorities and needs of the present age have changed a lot and it’s the necessity of time to handle and look at the upbringing, education and routines of the children in the same context. But the main thing is parental attention, guidance and the environment of the home which is equally important in children’s training and character building.

If we have a look at it, in the olden days the women used to train their children in the best way even though they were not educated. They didn’t even have to work hard to train their children because they used to learn and adopt polite habits and good manners from their adults.

In the olden days, women used to have such a strong sense of patience and endurance that they knew how to sit and stand, as well as how to treat adults with respect. Despite living in a joint family system, they used to treat everyone with love and care, ignoring the cruel remarks of others. As a result, their children must have become accustomed to it as well. They not only had a great deal of regard for their parents, but they also treated everyone else the same way. The parents of these youngsters were honoured as a result of their children’s excellent training.

I think today’s women are less tolerant than the women in past times. Fighting, quarrelling, abusing and showing rudeness in front of children over small things, has become a routine thing now. Their derogatory attitude towards family and other people has made their children adopt the same manners as well. Since the role models for a child are his parents, whom he learns to speak by listening, and learns to think by watching their demeanour, and in the same way that child learns to live by observing their attitudes. If the models go bad, how will the children get better? Parents’ beliefs and their moral values greatly affect their children.

Children learn from their parents, so parents need to enhance and improve their behaviour, because if a child sees that his parents respect adults, speak the truth, help others, then he’ll naturally adopt all these things.

The environment of home also greatly affects a child’s personality. Since the childhood memories are unforgettable, parents need to create an atmosphere of love and affection in the home and also they need to be on good terms with each other so that it can leave a long lasting and positive affect on their kids’ minds.

And an important, very important thing is to awaken only the fear of Allah in the hearts of children and also to avoid creating any other kind of fear in their minds.

Similarly, parents can encourage their children to help with household chores and to pray together every day. Parents need to know about the company their kids are sitting in and should keep an eye on their child’s daily activities. Because of the rising incidence of violence against children in our culture, children must be made aware of the danger.

Planning your children’s free time is one of the golden rules of successful child training. Parents should be aware of how their children spend their free time, where they must go, what they must play, and with whom they must play. It is critical to be aware of all of these factors.

Allowing their children to do anything they want is a good idea. Support them instead of scolding them if they want to do anything. If parents want their children to be friends, they should spend more time with them and learn about their mental abilities. Try it; children will be able to become friends with their parents and tell them about their troubles as a result.

Parents should provide the finest possible upbringing for their children. It is also an art to have a friendly relationship with children, and all parents should be specialists in this art. Parents must constantly encourage their children to build this relationship.

 

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